Hey. Hi. Hello.
You met me at such strange time in my life. At first, I was afraid I'd push you away because I was nowhere near good in my life. I was so depressed. Feeling the lowest of the lows & I was letting myself drown because I was so used to grasping for air while being weighed down by everything I couldn't control in my life. I was dancing with the Devil & felt cuffed to him at times. I felt like I had danced with him for too long that it was just a daily routine for me. I had challenged death a few times by intoxicating myself with drugs. I was literally throwing my heart on the floor, constantly, & stepping on it being hung on my ex & still talking with him at the time, being selfish around my house with my family, having no feeling about any of them.
I was depressed.
I wasn't eating & I was getting irregular sleep.
I'd look dead at times because of the drugs & no food.
I put myself through hell just to shut up my demons.
I hated myself.
I wanted someone to fix me.
I wanted someone to do it for me.
I was alone, everyone I thought was my friend turned out to be the complete opposite.
I felt lonely, and I wanted someone to comfort me. I couldn't bare to face myself & the world alone.
I didn't trust myself. I didn't love myself enough.
I used to think that I would never to get to experience an actual peace of mind. I used to think that there wasn't anyone out there for to spend my time with, that true love & true happiness was all BOGUS, that I would go through life without at least one true friend to understand
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