2022JUNE28TUESDAY 00:34
she finds my heart sinking towards the bottom of the ocean.
suffocating, the cool water around me embraces my body.
i'm sorry...
/
love has really been my best friend and worst enemy.
why must i let myself be consumed by these thoughts and feelings.
lexy, baby, i'm so sorry.
i feel like i'm trying my best but my best doesn't feel good enough.
i feel like i can't find my voice or my words. i hesitate even now to spill my heart out on the pages.
what am i so afraid of? what's stopping me? why do i find myself here once again?
it's that word that makes me cringe, again again again again again again again again ag-
i'm sorry, i'm not myself, i haven't been feeling like myself these days.
i have absolutely no regards for anyone or anything around me.
i feel myself closing off and and shutting down.
we write when we're depressed.
i want to find my voice, i want to find my words, i want to be here
here. here is beautiful, here is peace, here is home.
i just want to go home.
lexy, i'm so tired. i just want to cry.
but when will the tears end?
